As always, road trips are a time for quiet contemplation and an opportunity to revel in many of life’s little lessons.
Here’s a short list of important life lessons I learned this weekend:
- Road trips are better in the front seat.
- I no longer have the energy of a 10 year old.
- It is difficult to bounce around in a bounce house after 3 glasses of sangria and countless "small plates" of ceviche.
- Also impossible to attempt flips of any kind.
- Darn children with their sobriety and excess energy will put you to shame every time.
- Exiting a bounce house should be done quietly and with your chin up (to avoid vomiting).
- Your boyfriend and his friends performing mariachi-style Karaoke at 2AM is a sure sign that the 5 hour drive home the next morning will be painful.
- Very painful.
My best friend recommended I read 50 Shades of Grey. Which I did. The book sat on my lap for most of the road trip (when I was not driving—or reading poetry, of course).
Important life lessons I learned as a result of reading 50 Shades:
- Some women will be angry/take personal offense that you are reading this book. (e.g., it’s not good writing! It’s offensive! You are validating work that encourages stereotypes!)
No. Get over it.
But as Lizzie Crocker at Newsweek points out: “There [is]…thankfully, enough ‘kinky f—kery’ to keep readers entertained between long passages of prosaic, recycled dialogue: (I want to make your dreams come true, Anastasia. You are my dreams come true, Christian. You. Make. Me. So. Happy. I. Love. You.)”
Nauseated? Refer to life lesson #6 (above).
- And some women will be angry/take personal offense that you are not reading this book. (e.g., you’re such a prude! You’re such a snob! You have deep-rooted issues! You’re sexually repressed!)
Read it if you feel like it. Don't, if you don't.
Want more? Of course you do.
Click here for Newsweek's History of Surrender